Farewell... goodbye!

Today was my last day at the Milken Institute and it was bittersweet. I couldn't wait to leave but at the same time I'd been there for such a long time that it was really strange knowing I wouldn't be returning next week. That my desk was no longer my desk. That my slow ass computer was no longer my computer and that I had to hand over my office keys and parking card. Totally weird!

The day started out fine. I had a nervous stomach all morning. I hate not having control over that! I try and self talk and calm myself down but to no avail. Surprisingly, I had a good last day. People were really nice to me. I got alot of unwanted attention but I must admit it was nice. To know that a few people actually cared a little bit about me. I have always felt like an outsider there. More and more lately. So to suddenly feel 'liked' was odd. With the exception of a few, the friends I had made at work left years ago.

So wish me luck. I'm on to the next chapter of my life.

Approaching the BIG 4-0

After much consideration we have decided to have my 40th birthday at Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour. Remember those? I have such fond memories of attending birthday parties there when I was a kid. We originally were going to have a nice, somewhat fancy dinner at a restaurant at The Grove. That is still what I really want to do but I don't want to spend the $600 plus dollars it would cost to do it. So our second choice is Turning 40 at Farrell's! It will cost less and it's still fun but in a different way. This Farrell's is inside a place called Mountasia. There is miniature golf, bumper cars, and go carts. So I will just be a big 40 year old kid at my party.

AND I can't believe I'm going to be 40 freaking years old! Are you kidding me!

Snow in sunny California?

Now I've seen everything! It's pretty but making my work commute even more hellish than it already is.

Is that possible? YES!

Adios!

I did it. I resigned. I gave two weeks notice so my last day will be January 29th. I wonder where I will end up? I wonder how long I will be without a job? I am fortunate to be able to do this. Rob is working full-time and I sold my condo so I feel secure enough to venture out and take a chance. I don't take chances very often so when I do it's a big deal. Change can be scary.

I have been collecting these sayings. I like them. They make me feel better, more positive and hopeful, which is not the usual me.

"Without change there would be no butterflies."

"Many rivers lead to one ocean. Remember there is always another way to achieve your goals!"

Stick a fork in me!

Stick a fork in me, I'm done! Done with my job. I'm at that fork in the road wondering which is the best (safest, smartest, happiest) way to go. I have hated it there for such a long time. Too many years to count. Now on top of that I have an additional boss to Jeff and they are hiring another accounting geek/manager for me to assist. Poor me, I know. But this is not what I signed up for. When you hate everyone and everything about your job it makes it REALLY difficult to go in everyday.

Well, the real kicker happened last night. Jeff unloads a pile of shit on me on his way out the door for the evening. I will have to do a big annual vendor filing project NOW instead of in 3 months when it is always done. As luck would have it our fiscal year has changed to 12/31. It's alot of work and makes my back and fingers hurt (from making and lifting file folders) and I dread it every year. And to top it off they are changing the entire chart of accounts and accounting program MAS90. What? No F'ing way am I going to stick around and have to learn all that shit when I already have 1 foot out the door.

It also doesn't help that my commute has doubled after buying our house. I'm on the road for 4 or more hours a day to go someplace I can't stand and do things I hate to do. What kind of quality of life is that?

So I think this is it. Hopefully the condo escrow will close next week so I can give my notice. I think 13 years of misery is enough don't you?