What's Your Poo Telling You?

It's telling me to go to the doctor. It's telling me that something is wrong with me but I'm too afraid. Too afraid to go find out what's wrong. I've been messed up for a long time now. It's actually 'normal' for things to be wrong. I just get used to the many trips to the bathroom and the strange feeling in my stomach. I'm most concerned with a pain I've had in my abdomen. It's a dull pain. Sometimes it feels like it's moving around or pulling. It's hard to explain but it's not right. I keep imagining that there is a tumor growing inside me. I am actually pretty damn sure there is something there. I have convinced myself there is. So much so that I'm too afraid to go find out. Then I start to wonder if I'm imagining all of this? I'm not. I know I'm not. I know something is wrong. I know what I have to do. But FEAR keeps me from doing it. FEAR makes me do nothing. FEAR will probably kill me.