Happy fat?

I have what they call "happy fat". I'm in love and newly married therefore I am fat and happy. I was fat before when I wasn't happy so I guess that was sad fat. I am just fat. What makes me sad is that I had lost a lot of weight a few years back. I worked really hard at it. I felt much better and I was so proud of myself. But to keep eating well and exercising for life just wasn't going to happen. Not for me. I am naturally fat. I love to eat and I have cravings for certain foods that I just HAVE TO HAVE. I'm also lazy and would much rather sit on my ass watching TV or sit at my computer and surf the web. I was motivated a couple of months ago. Even finally bought a treadmill. I have nowhere to put it so it's taking up half of my living room looking lovely facing the TV ready for use. I've been on it once. What is wrong with me? Seriously. If I can't exercise in my own living room then all my other excuses go out the door. Like I hate exercising in front of others. Or I hate going to a gym and finding parking and oh so many other excuses I have saved in my brain for instant use.

Lately my back has been killing me. It must be from the extra weight I've gained since my wedding 6 months ago. I've never been small but I was smaller at the time. I had a dress to fit in to. I had to stay the same and not gain anything until after the wedding. Well, I have! I have gained about 20 more pounds. I went a little crazy choosing to eat just about anything I wanted whenever I wanted. My husband loves me no matter what right? He says I'm not fat, I'm his beautiful wife. That is so sweet! But not at all motivating for someone that will find any excuse NOT to diet and exercise. I love him but that just isn't going to cut it.

So here I sit with an ice pack on the lower right side of my back. It's not really helping much but I don’t know what else to do. I also took some back pain pills. I hope they help! I must remember this pain the next time I want to eat something I shouldn't. Which will be soon knowing me. I must remember this pain if I'm going to ever at least take off enough weight to at least feel better. I may not look much better but I will feel better and as I age, this is very important. I keep forgetting that I'm approaching 40. What? The big 4-0!! How can that be?

I'm thinking low carb might be my best choice. Nothing too extreme because then I definitely won't be able to hack it. Low carb is what I’m going to try. And I will force myself to walk a few times a week and maybe do some stretches. That's a good start right? Nobody else is going to do this for me.

Great, now I’m hungry!