I don't hate Kate

I don't hate Kate (of John & Kate + 8) like so many others do. I'm surprised that most of my friends think she's horrendous and deserves the misery she's living in right now. I don't. I know she can be bitchy but what wife isn't a BIOTCH sometimes? There were a few times she spoke to John like he was a child in public and that was wrong but maybe he was acting like a child. She shouldn't have embarrassed him in public but I still don't think she's as horrible as people think she is. I always thought she was doing it because it made for good TV. I guess I think she's getting a bad rap. Maybe he was being a dick the entire time. Maybe she suspected he was cheating on her and that is why she was bitchy with him. Only they know the truth and I'm sure they each have their own truth. Just like any other couple going through divorce. From what I can see she is a very good mother. I don't know how she does it, even with help. To have that many kids would be insanely overwhelming for anyone.

I used to like John but he is not the John I saw on the show in the beginning. He is an earring and Ed Hardy T-shirt wearing man whore. He is now suddenly spotted with several different women in their 20's! There is no need for that. At least wait until your divorce if final! It's like he's gone a bit mad. Maybe being locked up for so long under Kate's thumb didn't help matters but at least she hasn't been bad mouthing him. She never says anything negative about him personally when she does interviews. She mostly just talks about her feelings and being there for her kids. She is taking the high road. He is taking the low road. Hopefully things will calm down soon and the kids aren't too messed up in the process.

Worms!

I had a dream about big fat earthworms last night. I don't remember ever dreaming about worms before.

This is what it means:

To see an earthworm in your dream, indicates that you need to go deep into your unconscious in order to unearth your hidden feelings and desires. Alternatively, earthworms symbolize little things that can be beneficial for your growth and well-being. It also represents renewal. Perhaps you need to restore some aspect of yourself.

Interesting...

I might be a step monster

I have a stepson... well sort of. He's not really my stepson. I have yet to meet him but might be doing so soon. He's my husband's son who isn't really his son. It's all so confusing. I wish I were more understanding but it's difficult to have my arms opened wide for my husband's ex girlfriend's kid. He wasn't ever married to her and he's not really his son but we call him his son and his not really son calls him dad. He has a real dad, my husband as a dad and a step dad. Lots of dads. Can't have too many I guess when your mom is a whore. Oops did I say that? Anyway, I realize that it's not said fake son's fault that his mom is a whore or that he has so many dads but jeez why is this now my mess to deal with? Oh, because I'm in love with his not really dad #2. Are you following along? I know it's confusing isn't it?

I might be meeting him soon. That is what is prompting the bitching. He is 17 and supposedly wants to come visit his dad, my husband, who is not really his dad. This is going to probably be weird and awkward. Just to hear someone call my husband dad will be strange. He (we) don't have any kids. Well, I guess we do. We have his ex girlfriend's kid. Oy Vey!

So he is most likely coming to visit soon. We are still waiting for the date and I'm starting to get nervous about it. What if he's a jerk? What do I do? How do I handle it if he says rude things to me or about me? We will have to pay for his food for a few days and take him to some fun places. Would his mother do this for my kid? Probably not. Be the better person I chant to myself when I really just want to say NO.

I hope we like each other so my heart can soften towards him and this resentment I have goes away. That would be really nice and make things much easier. My fingers are crossed.

My first tattoo!

Well, I did it! I was so nervous on our way there. It hurt but was tolerable. I don't know how people get really big tattoos. Their pain tolerance must be really high. I'm proud that I did it. I love it! I can't wait until it heals and stops being sore. It's cute!

Why?

I'm getting a cute little tattoo tomorrow. It will be my first. I like tattoos. I like lots of them on some people but not on me.

But THIS I do NOT understand...

I am not a people person... but I'll tolerate you

I don't like people. Well, I like very few people. Why is it that everyone gets on my nerves and seems fake and phony to me? I really am a friendly, nice person who will do anything for you IF I LIKE YOU. If not, you are nothing to me and I don't care about you at all. It's so extreme. Why am I like that? I would much rather like people a little bit and have some really good friends. But that's not how it is. I am so easily annoyed. Especially lately. The way people talk, the things that they do, the sounds coming from their office, the way they kiss each other's butts... oh so annoying. Makes me not like them much. I guess I don't have to like people right? I just have to tolerate them. I just have to get along with them enough to function in society. Now for the people I do like. Oh, I like you ALOT! I might even love you. You are the lucky few. I sound like such a snob. I hope I'm not a snob. Am I a snob? Oh well... I don't care what you think if I don't like you anyway. Right?

Enough bitching for today.